Lost Love Issues of Married Or Engaged Adults – A Warning

Reuniting with a long lost love has always been common, but never as problematic as it is today. Before the Internet, it was not hard to find an old flame (through lost love’s friends or relatives, if need be), but getting that address or phone number by personal contact required transparency. Married adults usually didn’t risk this. The Internet cut out the middleman. Now, a married adult can find a lost love through search engines and classmate finder web sites — even finding out if the old flame is married or available, and getting his or her email address at work — and then send an email without being scrutinized by lost love’s friends or relatives. Your lost love will not know you are married unless you choose to reveal that. The connection by computer seems safe.

Because of the ease of secrecy and the simplicity of writing an email, no one thinks it could cause a problem. What could be the harm? As it turns out, plenty. These simple email letters to lost loves are ruining good marriages. Old feelings for a teen sweetheart often come back after contact has been made. Obsessive thinking about the lost love takes over, even for people who had no thought of a romance when they made contact with the lost love. Many people who contacted lost loves reported that they just “wanted closure.” But there is no closure. Old feelings come back. Even when there is a rekindled romance and it ends, there still may be no closure. People may always love the old aspects of that lost love from years ago. Some adults can’t get rid of that, no matter how much new information they get. They might be able to accept that the lost love romance will never work for them, but that may not close all the old feelings. If someone is married or in a committed relationship, he or she may have to learn to live with those feelings, accept them as part of one’s life, and dismiss them each time they come up. That’s a lot easier if you haven’t seen the lost love. Once a phone call is made, or worse, a face to face meeting occurs, there is no going back to the way it was.

Good marriages are crumbling. Many people who were and are interested in the topic of rekindled romances reported that they were afraid to buy a book about lost love reunions, because they didn’t know how to explain to their spouses why they would own a book about that topic. These people should read about rekindled romance, and they should talk about it with their spouses, before they get into trouble! Married couples have reported that, even though they had talked about their sexual experiences before they were married, they never talked about old feelings for lost loves.

And that is the much more dangerous topic: feelings lurk in the heart, hidden from the significant other like a ticking time bomb. “Move on” is a media term, not a psychological term. Teen feelings can return. If couples would open up, before marriage, about their feelings for old flames, that would make them less vulnerable to affairs with these lost loves if they are ever contacted. Putting the spouse on the alert is a good thing… if you really want to stay married. Married people who want to keep their marriages and families together should understand the strong pull of old love before they search for a lost love and create insurmountable problem for themselves. Understand that the feelings are normal, they won’t go away, but that doesn’t mean they have to be acted upon, or that it would solve anything or prove anything by acting upon them.

If a married person is inadvertently contacted by a lost love, it is okay for the married person to write back, politely. Otherwise, the lost love will feel like he or she was never cared about; that causes tremendous hurt. The lost love has probably written with innocent, although naive, intentions. As long as the married person is sure that he or she is not interested in resuming anything, one or two emails catching up on the years apart, probably won’t hurt. But that’s it — and he or she should tell the spouse! If the married person does not want to tell the spouse, and writes secretly, that is not innocent: it is preserving the right to secrecy and thus to whatever comes of it. And that is a recipe for an extramarital affair and all the heartache that will come of it. New survey research indicates that the likelihood that people will leave their marriages to marry their lost loves is about 5%.

Everyone in these affairs thinks that he or she will be one of the lucky couples. But reality is 5%. Most of the affairs end in heartbreak, but there is so much denial; when a teen sweetheart resurfaces, adults return to high school thinking: “It can’t happen to me. I won’t get caught cheating. I am careful.” The affair is often discovered, and there’s a gender difference: the woman’s marriage may break up as her husband can’t deal with her infidelity; but if her lost love won’t leave his marriage, she is stuck with a divorce, with no partner at all. If the man’s wife finds out about the affair, she may hold onto her marriage but it will be forever damaged. Happy outcomes of lost love affairs are rare. If two people are divorced, single, or widowed, second chances can be lasting and wonderfully satisfying. But a married person should not have any contact with an old flame from youth. No one will turn out happy. Teen idealism is appropriate in adolescence; but during adulthood, when there are spouses, children, careers, community standing, integrity, and financial assets, it is not worth the risk.

Adult Romance Ideas – 3 Simple, But Effective Ideas

It’s time to take a chance and enhance your romance. I’m here to help you do it. What you’ll find in this article are 3 ways you can turn up the romance, and increase the depth of the relationship you have with that special someone who has captured your heart. Sound good? Then read on!

My favorite adult romance ideas revolve around role playing. And I’m not talking about that kinky, in the bedroom only stuff. What I’m talking about is something I call themed evenings. Think how fun this would be you’re a secret spy, and it’s your job to seduce the other party to get information that could save the world.

Okay, that was a little corny, but what if you both went out for a social evening, but each played a certain role, and only the two of you were in on it. This works because it allows you to disassociate for a little bit. This makes you more comfortable to try new things.

At the same time, it gives the feeling of adventure. In real life high drama action scenarios, the body released certain chemicals that very closely mimic attraction. Thus, if you’re around someone else, it can easily be associated to that person. Danger and excitement can lead to a very romantic conclusion. Role playing allows you live that role out without actually being in danger for your life. It’s the best of both worlds.

Another romantic idea you should try is to go back and revisit a wonder experience you had with that person in the past. Think back to that first incredibly romantic evening you had. Now just recreate it again. It not only shows that you remember, but it also leverages all those feelings you both had back then, and opens the floodgates for them to come back into your body.

Finally, when all else fails, surprise them! As humans, we tend to settle into routines. Boring! The next time they come home from work, instead of doing the same old, same old, have something special prepared for them. Use the unexpected to heighten the encounter, and it will often have a very desirable effect.

Finally, situations and ideas are not as important as the emotions you feel, and do not make up for lack of feelings. They just heighten whatever feelings exist. So sometimes the most romantic thing you can do for someone is just express to them how much they mean to you.

New Adult Romance Ideas To Spark That Passion

If you are looking for a new way to tease your lover in a romantic way, it might be a good time to have a romantic night in. Brainstorming about adult romance ideas can be tough, but it also can be rewarding. Not able to come up with any romantic night ideas, or any bedroom romance possibilities? Try out some of the following new adult romance ideas to help bring passion into your life.

Drop some candies in a trail leading to the bedroom, with a note attached mentioning a super sweet treat waiting at the end of the candy trail. Add a little bit of whipped cream, some cherries, and you will have a romantic adult dessert that your lover will adore.

If you haven’t already, go on a shopping spree at a sex shop, and try out your new toys once you arrive at back at your home. Indulge in everything from sexy outfits, to videos, to new handbooks full of sex tips, to more unconventional and kinky toys.

For wild couples, why not attend a nudist event? The laid back atmosphere, along with the sight of your lover’s naked body all day long is sure to please you. For the most romantic atmospheres, make an effort to look for secluded beaches, deserts, and forests near you.

Did you know that it is scientifically proven that the smell of a partner’s sweat will turn you on? Join a gym for the healthiest kind of foreplay around. This might not sound like an adult romance idea, but after watching your beloved work out, you’ll beg to differ.

One longtime favorite adult romance idea of many couples is to play dress up for an exciting sexual escapade. Buy a sexy costume, and become your partner’s fantasy tonight!

Ever wonder what it feels like to be a model? Spice up your bedroom romance by having your own personal photo shoot. Take turns with your partner taking erotic photos of each other, and then admire them later.

The Japanese Yakuza came up with an erotic way to spice up a sushi dinner – by eating it off a beautiful woman. This is a great way to enjoy your lover’s beautiful body.

Overall, the key to a great adult romance idea is to combine fantasy with reality. Adding a twist to the daily humdrum is all you need to do in order to have a romantic night you won’t soon forget.

 

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Best Books for Young Adults

This guide contains recommended books for young adults between the ages of 13 and 21. The goals of this guide is to encourage young people to read. Young adult don’t really hate to read, they just say, “I don’t like reading”, “this book is so boring”, they just haven’t found the right book to read, this recommendations below might give them some new ideas about what to read next. There are thousands of new books published for young adults each year we pick only the best one.

“Twilight (series)” by Stephenie Meyer

Author: Stephenie Meyer, Publisher: Little, Brown and Company 2005-2008, Language: English, Country: United States, Genre: Romance, Fantasy, Young-Adult Fiction

Review: Twilight is a very dramatic but exciting love story between a regular, 17 year old, girl named Bella, and a gorgeous, nearly 100 year old, vampire named Edward. Bella is forced to move into the small town of Forks, with her father Charlie. There wasn’t anything fancy in the town of Forks. It rains all the time, and the sun never seems to shine, this town has nothing great, until Bella finds the Edward Cullen. Once Bella finds the Edward, she can’t keep thinking about them. I really enjoyed seeing Bella and Edward going through the ups and downs of their relationship, the fact that Bella and Edward have a mutant baby together just freaks me out to no end and gives me nightmares that keep me up at night. I fully recommend reading these books, enjoy this touching story that will leave you wanting more as you read into their romantic love story. Series: 1. Twilight (2005) 2. New Moon (2006) 3. Eclipse (2007) 4. Breaking Dawn (2008)

Similar Books: Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead, Tithe by Holly Black, Eragon & Eldest by Christopher Paolini.

“Wintergirls” by Laurie Halse Anderson

Author: Laurie Halse Anderson, Publisher: Viking, Pages: 278 pp (Hardback), Country: United States, Genre: Fiction

Review: Wintergirls is about an 18 year old anorexic girl named Lia dealing with anorexia nervosa. She wants to be thin, so thin that she disappears and her body is breaking down and dying because of it. The book begins with the death of Lia’s best friend (also suffering from an eating disorder) who dies in a motel room all by herself. Lia not only deals with her anorexia, but with a broken family and cutting problems. This was definitely another amazingly heart-wrenching book written by Anderson about a painful topic that many girls are going through every day. For all of those who have read Speak, please take a look at Wintergirls! this is one of the best Young Adults books I have read.

Similar Books: The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher.

“The Hunger Games (trilogy)” by Suzanne Collins

Author: Suzanne Collins, Publisher: Scholastic 2008-2010, Language: English, Country: United States, Genre: Adventure, Science fiction, Young adult

Review: The Hunger Games trilogy is a science fiction love story that takes place thousands of years in the future, where the United States is governed by one Capitol and divided into thirteen districts, the story is about a 16 year old girl Katniss Evergreen in a fantasy world called Panem (Latin for “bread”) and who is “chosen” to fight in a to-the-death battle with other children in other districts, the winner of the Game will return with food for their district. The story is beautifully crafted and so unexpected. So many twists and turns that keeps your eyes glue to the pages. The first book was amazing it sets the story and fills us in on the history of Katniss Evergreen. The second book – has a twist in it that you don’t see coming. The whole momentum of the story got slowed right down in the third book, the last couple of chapters in book 3 “Mockingjay” had me shedding tears for sure but she finally gets her happiness. I always enjoy reading a book that forces the reader to think deeper than what is simply on paper, and Suzanne Collins has mastered that with these books. The story is advertised as YA, but that doesn’t mean it’s suitable only for young adults.

Similar Books: The Maze Runner by James Dashner, A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin.

“The Giver” by Lois Lowry

Author: Lois Lowry, Publisher: Bantam Books – 1993, Pages: 179 p. (paperback edition), Country: United States Genre: Soft science fiction, Dystopian fiction

Review: The Giver is an exceptional novel about everyday life in a community with no feelings, color, war, or pain, everything is completely organized. This book is written from the perspective of Jonas who is an 11 year-old boy and the main character of this story. He lives with his father and seems to look and act different than the other people in his community. Then all that changes for Jonas when he turns twelve and is selected to receive all the memories that the society has never known, memories that will change his life forever. I loved The Giver because the plot was very creative, the theme was magnificent, and the setting was vivid, Lois Lowry used great descriptive words to bring the book to life. It’s one of the best novels to share with young people, a story that they will remember long after they have finished it.

Similar Books: Messenger by Lois Lowry, Gathering Blue by Lois Lowry.

“Harry Potter (series)” by J.K. Rowling

Author: J.K. Rowling, Published: 29 June 1997 – 21 July 2007, Publisher: Arthur A. Levine Books (US), Bloomsbury Publishing (UK), Country: United Kingdom, Media type: Print (hardcover and paperback)

Review: J.K Rowling’s Harry Potter series was a brilliant work of literature and fantastic for helping younger readers build their vocabulary and learn important life lessons. For anyone who hasn’t read the series and has just watched the movies, the books are a must read. For those of you who are anti Harry Potter I would like to point out some of the saving qualities of these books. First, Potter has good healthy, relationships with adults. Second, Potter has relatives and a professor who do not like him. He shows that not everyone in the world will like you but that is not a requirement to having a good life. The books encourage imagination and creativity. There are other reasons but I think that J.K. Rowling has reintroduced reading for pleasure to our young adults and that is a feat indeed. J.K. Rowlings has a fantastic imagination. Harry Potter has been translated in over 67 languages, and the last four books were the fastest selling books in history. I recommend everyone to read these books because they have something for everyone: fantasy and magic, action and adventure, monsters, romance and laughter, anyone at any age will enjoy this set. Harry Potter Series also in Best Fantasy Books of All Time Happy Reading to all.

Series:

1. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (1997)

2. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (1998)

3. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (1999)

4. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2000)

5. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2003)

6. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2005)

7. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (2007)

Similar Books: The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien, The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis, The Lost Hero by Rick Riordan

“The Book Thief” by Markus Zusak

Author: Markus Zusak, Publisher: Knopf, USA (March 14th 2006), Pages: 550 (Hardback & Paperback), Country: Australia, Genre: Novel

Review: “The Book Thief” is the story of Liesel a German girl living near Munich during the Nazi uprising. One walks through Germany in World War II, along with Liesel and her best friend. Liesel is a orphan because her mother and brother freeze to death. The other unusual thing about the Book Thief is its narrator, Death himself. Everyone in the whole world seems to adore this book, one that actually touched me, and even made me cry more than once. Considering that the book is set in Nazi Germany, one may expect to find a bit more brutality but its lighter, its at Young Adult reading level. This book has my highest recommendation if you like stories set during World War II, if you want to read about a girl with such strength and emotion that it’ll tear your heart out.

Similar Books: The Messenger by Markus Zusak, The Boy in the Striped Pajamas by John Boyne.

“Percy Jackson and the Olympians (series)” by Rick Riordan

Author: Rick Riordan, Publisher: Disney Hyperion 2005-2009, Language: English, Country: United States Genre: Fantasy, Young-adult fiction.

Review: If you like adventures then you will like this book. A fun, quick Young Adult read that adds adventure as well as some history about Greek mythology, an awesome series, especially for fairly competent, but possibly reluctant, readers in 8th grade and up. The main character Percy Jackson 12-year-old teenage boy who sudden finds out his world is not what he thought it was and his life is suddenly full of magic, danger, and adventure. He is also being attacked by monsters out of Greek mythology. His mother brings him to Camp Half-Blood where he learns that he is the son of a god and a hero who has to go on a quest. I liked the idea of the Greek gods being located in the western hemisphere. I thought it was clever how Riordan incorporated Greek gods into the modern world in a very clever, fun way. Constant adventure and an easy to follow storyline keeps the attention of anyone and everyone that takes the time to sit down and open it, there is no excuse not to read this book because it is totally fabulous! Once you open it, it will keep you enticed all the way until the very back cover. It’s not just a best book for young adults but for everyone, even us “adults” who still enjoy the kid inside us.

Series:

1. The Lightning Thief – June 28, 2005

2. The Sea of Monsters – May 3, 2006

3. The Titan’s Curse – May 1, 2007

4. The Battle of the Labyrinth – May 16, 2008

5. The Last Olympian – June 12, 2009

Similar Books: Harry Potter Boxed Set by J.K. Rowling, Eragon, Eldest & Brisingr by Christopher Paolini.

“Hush, Hush” by Becca Fitzpatrick

Author: Becca Fitzpatrick, Publisher: Simon & Schuster – 2009, Pages: 391, Country: United States, Genre: Young adult, Fantasy, Romance

Review: Hush, Hush is the story written by Becca Fitzpatrick. It is written through the perspective of the main character, Nora Grey, an average high school student going about her business as usual until her Biology teacher rearranges the class seating and places her next to the sexy, mysterious, dangerous-looking new kid, Patch Cipriano. who is revealed to be a fallen angel with a dark connection to Nora herself. However, the reasons that Nora isn’t the typical high school girl are many: she is independent, even at her age, because her mom travels a lot after her dad passed away. Her best friend Vee is obsessed with all the things Nora chooses to ignore – boys, shopping, and drama. The way the book was written was amazing. It never left you bored, or wanting to skip a few pages. I would defiantly recommend this book to girls mostly it’s a romance book and it doesn’t really seem to appeal to boys. Once you open the pages, you will not be able to put it down!

Similar Books: The Dark Divine by Bree Despain, Torment by Lauren Kate, Nightshade by Andrea Cremer.

“Vampire Academy (series)” by Richelle Mead

Author: Richelle Mead, Publisher: Razorbill, Language: English, Country: United States, Genre: Young Adult, Urban Fantasy

Review: The storyline is really great, and Richelle Mead uses flashbacks of what has already occurred to keep you guessing and to help fill you in at the right moment without giving too much away. Vampire Academy tells the story of Rose a seventeen-year-old Dhampir girl, who is training to be a bodyguard for her Moroi (Moroi are mortal vampires and wield the earth’s magic elements fire, water, air, earth) best friend, Vasilisa “Lissa” Dragomir. In the process of learning how to defeat Strigoi (the evil undead vampires) in St. Vladimir’s Academy, Rose finds herself caught in a forbidden romance with her handsome instructor, Dimitri Belikov, while having an unbreakable bond with Lissa. The story was an overall good read, the main character is independent and funny, to be honest it was better than twilight, while Bella is weak and dependent, Rose is the exact opposite, independent and strong. I loved watching the characters grow and develop especially Rose and Lissa. Throughout the series they mature so much and it is incredibly fascinating to watch. I will say that these books are for a more mature YA audience because there is mention of some more mature topics. I would definitely recommend this series. It’s definitely my favorite vampire series!

Vampire Academy series:

1. Vampire Academy (16 August 2007)

2. Frostbite (10 April 2008)

3. Shadow Kiss (13 November 2008)

4. Blood Promise (25 August 2009)

5. Spirit Bound (18 May 2010)

6. Last Sacrifice [9] (7December 2010)

Similar Books: Feast of Fools by Rachel Caine, Friday Night Bites by Chloe Neill, Chosen by P. C. Cast.

“Speak” by Laurie Halse Anderson

Author: Laurie Halse Anderson, Publisher: Farrar Straus Giroux (October 1999), Pages: 197 pp (first edition, hardback), Country: United States, Genre: Fiction

Review: Speak is a short novel packed full of tremendous emotions and that dealt with a tragic situation of 14 year old girl Melinda so realistically that it felt real. Melinda Sordino is an incoming freshman that called the police at an end of the summer party before high school started. She is friendless, outcast, because she busted an end-of-summer party by calling the cops, so now nobody will talk to her. After that Melinda has been speaking less and less, to her parents and to the friends who have abandoned her because she called the cops during a summer party. Her parents begin to see that something is wrong. They want to help their daughter but don’t know how to. This book is very well written from a teen’s perspective, you really get inside Melinda’s head in this book, you really do feel Melinda’s pain, you just don’t know the reason behind it until the end of the book, it’s just unbelievable, how good the author is at doing this, the author does a spectacular job of capturing the essence of high school. Speak is a wonderful message of hope, with touches of black humor It’s a very dark story but it is still funny too. I recommend this book to all young adults. Similar Books: Fever 1793 by Laurie Halse Anderson, The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.

Incredible Adult Romance Ideas That Will Have Her All Over You – Romance Ideas For Adults

I got some great adult romance ideas for you to ensure your date ends on a high note. I am surprised by how many men seem to have no idea how to get a girl in the right mood during their date. It is actually not that difficult.

I would first start out by taking your date to a nice lounge for a few drinks. Make sure you do your diligence when picking the lounge. It should have dim lighting, leather couches and sensual music. You want to able to sit next to her on a leather couch and not across from her, so you can have some physical contact and be cozy.

Then move on to order some tasty cocktails, preferably fruity cocktails. I know most men prefer not to drink fruity cocktails and rather have a beer, but get over it and give it a go, it will impress her. The fruity cocktails will put her in a good mood. Make sure you order two different types, so you can offer her to try your cocktail and she will turn offer you to try her cocktail. She will love that.

When sitting together make sure you sitting very close to her if not touching her. As you are sipping on your cocktails talk about romantic topics. Perhaps mention what the ideal relationship would be for you and ask her to mention what her ideal relationship would be. Get her to to talk about topics that interest her and make her excited. Discover what her passions are and get her talking. There are many adult romance ideas you can use here. You can get her talking about her favourite pets, her travels. Anything that will make her happy.

During the conversation hold her hands and just look at her in the eyes. Then pull back after a few minutes and do it again, believe me it works wonders. Make sure that during the conversation you mention something about your apartment, such as an interesting painting you have, a great music collection, or a cute puppy. Anything that will give her an excuse to go back to your apartment with you.

As things nicely progress and after a few drinks suggest that you go back to your place. Approach it by saying you want to quickly show her the picture, music collection or whatever it was you mentioned in your apartment during your conversation. That is a great subtle excuse that will encourage her to go back to your apartment with you. Also mention you got some drinks over there and some great music.

It is essential that you ensure that your apartment is clean when you take her back and you actually have a few interesting things to show her. Also that you have some romantic music you can turn on and preferably a glass of wine or champagne you can offer her. Before you know it one thing will lead to another and you will embark on your adult romance.